Banned Party

Got in a conversation today at work about despicable clothing pet peeves. That got funny real quick! How these terrible epidemics get started and actually become a full blown plague is beyond me!! Here’s a list of ten things that should be completely and totally outlawed!

1. Kitten-Heeled Flip Flops– Can you really not just leave the heels at home? It’s an all or nothing deal with heels. Have them or don’t! Looks like you jammed a thumb tack into the bottom of your heel. Ouch!!

2. Platform Flip Flops– Twisted sister of the kitty heeled version. Prince is the only person in the world who should own a pair of these. Purple rain baby!

3. Longchamp Bags– My brothers gym bag looks better than this overpriced, boring bag. And they’re everywhere!! The fact that people have convinced each other that these are a “must-have” is repulsive. So vanilla 🙁

4. Printed Tie Dye Dress Things– Here’s an interesting concept. You couldn’t decide between a white, tie dye, or printed look so you mashed all three together in a disgusting swirl. Here’s one time where more is definitely not more.

5. Jack Rodgers Sandals– Not sure how or why these became a popular shoe, but how tragic! That circle thing on the toes looks like a mushroom sprouting out of your foot. Ditch ‘em!

6. ANYTHING Ed Hardy- All fist pumping aside, these shirts, bags, and worst of all trucker hats have gotta go. People wearing them look like they were in a competition to see who could fit the most rhinestones and tiger graphics on one article of clothing. 

7. Shredded Pants– I’m all for a nice distressed look, but if I can see your entire thigh flapping in the breeze, you’ve taken it too far. My favorite is when there is actually some visible butt cheek action and the offender seems to be totally oblivious. Ma’am you know your butt’s out! Time for new pants.

8. Forgot Your Pants– Even worse than the previous trend. There is this notion that it’s fine to wear a “long shirt” sans pants. Just because you are able to somehow stretch the  poor fabric over your goodies does not mean it is a suitable look for a party, event, or even the grocery store.

9. Matchy Matchy– For those who can’t use their brain to craft something unique. If your shirt is pink, your belt, necklace, shoes, hat, sunglasses, and thong should not be! Simple.

10. Leggings as Pants– Leggings are a glorious thing. Super comfortable, but can be made into a chic outfit. BUT, your butt should not be out in the back! It’s awkward, not to mention 9 times out of 10 their yiney is hungry. 

If you love one of these looks, don’t hate me! Rock those platform flip flops with pride!